You are an Eagle in a Budgie cage, you have to break out and spread your wings and fly…
I am on the merge of something new in my life, I cannot say what, as I don’t know yet. I see, or rather feel, all the signs and I feel restless, very restless.
Omens keep on popping up, or “Angel Ticks” as someone so beautifully pointed out to me the other day, the same beautiful soul that told me I am an Eagle in a cage.
It all started with a bit of a hick-up with my health, nothing serious, I could just feel that my body kept on trying to tell me something, together with that, the discontent that keeps upwelling in me, little bursts of frustration that even influence my art.
I started by throwing out everything in my house that had negative memories or vibes, in fact, I feel I need to clean out even more, but then again, I threw out stags of magazines the other day, just to realize that I now need it for my creativity workshops that I am going to do again. I also try to clean my body, I try and fail and try again and fail again, but I will keep on trying until I get into the habit of cutting out all that is bad for me at least 80% of the time, I think that should be good enough.
I feel that we are where we are for a reason and a season. My season in Klerksdorp was supposed to be over by now, the plan was that I will pack up and go after all my kids left home, and that was in January this year… I’m still here. Changing seasons are inevitable.
One thing that makes it so difficult to start something new is that we don’t really know where to start.
Reality set in when I wanted to move, I realized that it is so much cheaper to rent in Klerksdorp, a move to any place in Gauteng will set me back at least R4000/ R5000 per month.
That is only a painting or three, Yes, I know that, but that is on top of all the other, “just a painting or three’s”, that pay everything else.
Unfortunately, we don’t always get to choose WHEN our new beginnings will begin. I hope for my new beginning to barge into my backdoor soon.
As those of you who know me, already knows, my life consists out of a LOT of new beginnings. In fact, it seems like it never stops! This painting was done in one of those major transitional times in my life, I just got divorced, I moved for the second time in 3 months and was on the point to move again. Since then, and that was not that long ago, I moved 4 more times, now you would wonder why AGAIN?
I have to, I need to be in a better place for my art. Klerksdorp is good for me, nothing wrong here, but it is not good for my soul, it’s not good for my creativity. I can be anywhere, I need to uproot myself and move to where more opportunities are.
With all this being said, I must say that this whole process of change is part of a bigger picture, it is part of what is stirring inside me, you can pull that change through to me as a person as well as to my art.
I feel the roots getting pulled out bit by bit in all aspects of my life. I am busy reconsidering my art themes, my whole approach towards my art. I realize that I need more consistency there, I realized that on my own, but when the third person tells you that you are all over the place, you know it is time to listen.
Also, I am busy rebuilding myself in many ways, it’s difficult, but bit by bit I am killing my old habits and building new ones, I am becoming more aware of personality traits that need to change in order to get me where I want to be in life. I do realize that there can be no huge rush with these changes as our ways and habits are so deeply rooted, therefore I am patient with myself and I realize that there might even be aspects I might not be able to concur.
I started a new body of work, this theme will be built around mothers an daughters, messages mothers want to carry over to their daughters and vice versa. But more about that in the next blog post. But please, don’t hold me to this, with my scattered head I might end up with 10 other themes before I complete this one. I will try, though. At least 10 paintings. Let’s see if I can do it…
“Without change, we stagnate. We don’t grow. We become complacent. We get bored.”
Allison Fallon says in her blog post about change:
We do not have the tension and conflict we need to become who we were always meant to be in this life. Change is not easy, but real change—inside change—is lasting”
No matter where you go in life, no matter what you have or don’t have, what can never be taken from you is who you are.
I feel a little like this guy at the moment. unplugged, blindfolded, but not yet on the loose.
Let’s see when life will spit me out and where.
Any suggestions as to where to move to in Gauteng, a save place that and not too expensive. I even thought about Hartbeespoort dam, Magaliesburg or Rustenburg, I hope my dream of moving will realize before the end of the year.
The winter brought two new exhibitions and the start of my Creativity Workshops
I am part of the Winter Whimsical exhibition at Showroom Art Gallery in Pretoria. The exhibition ends on 30 July.
The next group exhibition I will be part of, is the Canvas de-Vine , all-woman exhibition that opens on the 9th of August at the Rietvallei Wine Estate in Robertson during Robertson Slow Food and Wine Festival – I will keep you posted on that and if you want to be sure not to miss any of these events, then please subscribe to my mailing list.
And last but not least, I am going to start with my Creativity Workshops again. I had a few requests as it is three years since I last did one. I feel the time is right for it again.
The first one will be at The B-Gallery in Klerksdorp and from there the next one will be on the 14th of August in Robertson. If you can attend either of these two workshops, it will be great as this is only my introduction price.